From a child's point of view....
Zac attending "Tool Kit
TM" presentation in
the "nest" he created for himself. April 1, 2000.
I always end up hitting people if they stand too close to me. Im a disaster
area! I cant see them so I dont know theyre there. I might put
my elbow up and out to the side by my ear, maybe Im scratching or I might
hit them in the chin when Im stretching.
The last time this happened, the teacher in room 11 stood at the back of my
chair. I guess she was watching for mistakes or something. I didnt have
a clue she was there (hey, maybe she was spying on me. Shed made a good
spy if the enemy was sitting in a chair working on a social studies paper.) Anyway,
I lifted by head up to rest and PHISH I hit her, somewhere near the stomach,
a soft hit. She said "Say excuse me! but I said "Sorry". I think
you should say "sorry" when you hit someone. Excuse me is just a nice
way of saying "MOVE OUT OF THE WAY NOW!!" But Im sorry is the
short way of saying "I didnt mean to hit you" and stuff like that.
In general, Im very clumsy. I hate being clumsy its annoying.
Sometimes I accidently hit people I like. Or I fall on them. Sometimes I drop
plates Oh my GOSH is that every embarrassing!!" Once, when I was borrowing
my dads sleeping bag for a camping trip at my summer camp, I was walking
around in it pretending to be a big blue slug while I made trench toast with my
mom. I had batter in my hands one minute you know that batter is made out
of eggs and then I dropped it, bowl and all. The bowl broke. Batter went
all over me! I dripped all over my knees and feet and splashed up my stomach.
The real problem was I had Dads sleeping bag on my feet and knees and stomach!!
I needed to leave for the camping trip in 1 hour. There wasnt time to wash
the sleeping bag so we had to run out and buy a new sleeping bag at Target, the
only store that was opened that early on a Sunday.
The morale of the story is while they say three feet is a good space
to keep between normal people, five feet is more like it for us clumsy kids. Youd
think people would remember Id done all those clumsy things and stay back
but they dont. Maybe Ill wear a shirt that says "Go away! Im
gonna blow and I dont mean in anger I mean in energy! My body will fly all
over the place and eventually hit someone and that someone could be YOU!"
or maybe, instead of "E=MC2" I could write on my shirts, "E-ME2
so WATCH OUT!"
It gets pretty funny at my house. One night my mom was putting me to bed and
she said "Goodnight" and bent down to give me a goodnight kiss.
I stuck my hand up to hug her back but I accidentally punched her in the head.
I reached out to say I was sorry and I poked her in the eye. We were laughing
so hard and would you believe it that I head butted her in the nose! We laughed
really hard then. I sometimes think there should be an announcer that follows
me around saying "Embarrassing Funny Moments will be Right Back After a word
from our Sponsors."
Following the April California Tool Kit workshop, Zac's mother Rondalyn Whitney,
president of SHARE a non profit organization for NLD
"... We have re-done our office spaces to model the nest etc. It is
so much cooler now. We have the clinic with a "womb space" or nest (blue
pillows, terrifically comfy rug sectioned in the corner) and the other smaller
room we've decorated as the Brain Power area and the Mother space. Mother space
has a draped periwinkle curtain and two inflatable chairs (more stuff to come)
but it's very cool. Zac said 'This place looks authentic now'."
Another time I dropped a bowl of berries all over the kitchen floor within
minutes of my mom finishing mopping it. If you look in our familys photo
album, youll see me standing there looking at a floor covered with berries
and berry juice. Im standing in the pictures with my hands on my head, my
mouth dropped open properly screaming and looking down at the mess. I have the
look on my face like food aliens have invaded my house. I know that at some peoples
houses the mom screams "GO TO YOUR ROOM YOU LITTLE BRAT" but in my house
the mom goes and gets the camera just taking a record of my childhood.
Three pages before my pictures of the Berry Alien Invasion are some pictures
of my dad, my dad who had put a little bit too much of the wrong kind of soap
into the dishwasher and OOPS! it bubbled like heck. I wish we had made a video
of it. I wouldnt mind duplicating that and recording it this time and having
our very own showing of "Worlds Funniest Videos" in our living
room. The bubbles were coming out of the dishwasher and down all the cabinets.
Dad was standing in the bubbles, looking up innocently as if saying, "Oh
Yeah? Nothing happened, dont worry about a thing." Hes holding
a sponge mop in the pictures but it wont do him any good because the bubbles
keep coming and theres already a lot of them on the floor. Hes got
a small sponge.
Usually, being a disaster isnt always funny. At the time, its actually
very embarrassing. But later, when I think about it, its hilarious and I
can laugh. Hee hee hee hee Heh heh heh.
Zac Whitney is a 4th grader in California. He was diagnosed with NLD (None
Verbal Learning Disabilities) when he was in kindergarten. He loves to write creative
stores. To learn more about NLD go to www.nld.com.
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